Well, today is June 6th, 2011 and today starts a whole new life for my husband. Today he had the gastric sleeve/bypass procedure. Exactly 161 days or 5 months and 10 days from the day I had my gastric sleeve/bypass surgery. There were a few varations between the two surgerys. He was scheduled to be here at 9:30AM with surgery scheduled at 1:40PM. He actually went back to the operating room at 2:30PM but surgery did not begin until 3:30PM. He got out of surgery at 6PM and was in his room at 7:30PM.
When he returned to his room, I did not expect the emotional overload of seeing him safe and doing well. It felt as thought I was holding my breath all day and was finally able to inhale but it came in the form of tears. I didn't make a fool of myself until now, sitting in his room with him resting next to me and I am so grateful to God for guiding the hands of the surgeons and all the prayers and well wishes of our family and friends. It means so much to me that people love my husband.
He is a good man, and has such a deep and tender heart. We talked a lot last night about the surgery, like after the surgery, exercise, pain and our boys. I didn't slumber last night for a good many things on my mind and in my heart so exhaustion is near. Sleep will not likely come easy tonight since he will need to wake and walk every two hours. There are so many things that we want to do together and with our children. My husband spent 10 years in the United States Air Force and got out when our youngest son was born, almost 15 years ago. He has regretted it and missed it every since. He loved the Air Force and has decided to go back in and finish the time to retirement. I think he will most likely do the reserves but only time will tell.
I do know that I am so glad he did well through the surgery and had a momentary panic attack when the surgery started andhour later. I don't think I could breathe without him. He is everything to me. Since I was a silly 15 year old working at McDonalds (illegally of course), and spied a really cute boy with a beautiful smile and his eyes lit up with every smile. That Big Mac maker touched my heart and eventually grabbed hold of it for good. We had a crazy romance for 4 years, breaking up and getting back together. Eventually after going in the Air Force he asked me to marry him, as did another that I was seeing. I knew who my heart belonged to, who stole my first kiss, and made the butterflies in my stomach fly unending so to my heart, there was no question. I told my mom I was going to marry JimBob and she said, "you aren't even dating him", well, no, not at the time, because he was in Alaska and I was in Texas and we set a date for July 9th, 1988. As time drew near, our impatience grew worse and we moved the wedding date up to March 19, 1988. We went from a large wedding at the Mesquite CoC to a small home wedding, from a wedding dress with a long train and veil to a tea-length wedding dress and from a spectacular honeymoon to one night at the Embassy Suites and then to fly to our new home in Alaska just 4 short days after our wedding.
That flight was my first time ever on an airplane at 19, and it was a 12 hours flight. I cried all the way to Seatlle, as this was the longest I would ever be from my family and friends. I granted and luckily, my new husband granted me that time. Once in Seatlle, I sucked it up and began the exclusive life of being Mrs. Jim Holley. We decide to be wait 5 years, we were young still and thought that would be a good time to start a family. Easier said than done. I most likely got pregnant on our wedding night, only to lose the pregnancy because I was taking birth control pills. That was a hard lesson and I never took another birth control pill. Losing that pregnancy changed us and brought us closer and on December 29, 1989 we were blessed with Zachary. Life has had it's ups and downs and sometimes I thought I would strangle him, but I love him with every inch of my being. Being blessed with 2 healthy beautiful boys is what matters. Losing 3 pregnacies in the course of our marriage was hard, as I always wanted a large family, but God had other plans. Our boys are almost 7 years apart and not expecting to carry Brayden and being told I couldn't have him, makes him that much more precious and we were all greatly blessed when God added him to our family.
I cannot wait to be an active healthy family again. We (I) have let too many things get in the way of me, my health, my heart, my relationships and my relationship with Christ. I strive daily to be what he wants me to be, and fail often. I hurt people, offend people and sometimes just want to crawl into a cave to keep from making others doubt me. There are so many people that I truly love and only want what is best for them and theirs. I ask forgiveness often of those I care for and most of the time it is granted. But I can't change what I have no control of and I can't make people care or love me, and that is OK because I was told to 'love one another' and I am only in control of me.
I have tremendous blessings of my family and my friends and I was so blessed to have my moms and my BFF here today, thanks moms and Donna for your support and thanks to those that called to check on JB; Mark, Randy, Angel, Kristin, Mrs. Gene and for T-bone stopping by to check on his bro. JB is very blessed with family and friends like you!
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