When you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings,

People that have never had depression themselves will inadvertently tell a depressed person, 'just snap out of it' or 'count your blessings'. If we could have snapped out of it, we would have SNAPPED a LONG time ago! And counting our blessings is a good thing but not something someone wants to hear, as if we are being selfish and not thinking of others.

The Lord has truly sent blessings my way. I do believe that most men would have walked away from me a long time ago and knowing the things he knows now, he still would have that right. This was not part of the agreement, was NOT in the initial contact, not what he bargained for. Deep in my thinking, is embedded the belief that "MEN LEAVE". They just glance at something better, get bored, get overwhelmed, and get walking. I had seen this my whole life. Beginning with my father and my family. Families destroyed by divorce and children destroyed by abandonment, physical and/or emotional. There is nothing sadder to watch than a child waiting for a parent to pick them up for a visit and the parent never shows. No different than and elderly person waiting in the nursing home for someone that loves them to visit. But back to my initial thought. I know what my heart is doing, as it pushes those away that I love. My hurt is deep enough and I don't want others hurt by it also. My husband, although he wants to KNOW, has been a source of strength and a source of love. I often tease him about his 'wild days', and he was definitely a wild one, but I believe he has stayed true to me during our marriage. I just don't understand some things but I do understand that he loves me. Why is that so hard to accept for me? To be loved? Maybe I think I am too much work. Every since I was 15 years old, and had glanced at the smile on a boy at work, I have been smitten. 26 years this man has been in my heart and the key is no longer available. There is lots more room for me to love but not to get the love I have for him out. My first kiss, my first date, my first many. I don't think I deserve a man like this and I am so very thankful for him! I love you honey and thank you for standing by me and for holding me up when I became too weak to stand.

Love One Another

The one thing I try to remember when dealing with anyone, but especially my Christian family is to "LOVE ONE ANOTHER". If above all we think of each other with this phrase, wouldn't it make our lives better. Wouldn't it shut off the gossip and plug up the negative. What if we thought about today as our last day that God was granting us. Would we still sit at lunch and gossip about someone who we 'think' is not doing the job properly or bad talk someone that made a mistake? I prefer to reminise with those I love and I prefer to laugh and love. What if that was the last thing your friend heard you say? Is that what you would want them to think of as they left this earth? If we knew that something was said that was wrong, why don't we stand up and speak up for what is right. People, families, organizations and congregations can get so discouraged and discontented by the gossip and the assumptions. We are all human but we seem to gravitate to the negative and what a waste of time and energy that is. I would rather spend my energy and my time laughing and making others happy. By encouraging instead of discouraging. A smile is a free gift you can give another person, and it is so contagious and makes you feel wonderful! Have you ever caught someone smiling at you across the room? Could you keep from smiling back? Children are watching everything we do and say. Is this what we want to pass on to our future generation, our future leaders and our future churches? Let people live and be happy. It seems that when someone is truly happy, others get envious and start prodding to break them down. Why must we do this? What does it accomplish? My heart is so full of love and the best thing to collect is more love to expand it more. Isn't this the expansion that we want in our bodies and in our lives? My expansion is in my waist line, but my increase in weight should be because our hearts are expanding because we are loving more. Our blood pressures would go down and our stress levels would decrease and we would all find more joy and more pleasure in just spending time with each other. There is no greater joy than to have a meal with friends and for there to be no gossip, assumptions or criticism. More people want to talk about what others are not doing right instead of digging their heels in and getting their hands dirty for a marvelous cause. If everyone that critisized and gossip put that much energy into the work of the Lord, can you imagine what a wonderful place this would be. Just by starting one hour a day and to say for this hour, I WILL NOT judge another, I will love completely and I will be a light to those around me. One hour at a time, one day at a time and one week at a time. It is an easy habit to break, by taking small steps, and I can speak from experience because I used to participate in this sin, and it got me nowhere, it made me sad, and it kept me from doing the Lord's work. What a sad existance that was. Seeing what I didn't like to see in the mirror, and wanting something more, I set out to change it, one hour at a time. It didn't matter that I was angry because my father walked out, or that things happened to me beyond my control. I still had the choice to make each hour. Was I going to let the devil win or was I going to strive to live for the Lord? I chose good, happy, loving and POSITIVE. I chose to encourage my firends and I love to encourage those I love. I still have days when the devil tries to win, but I can say, "Get away from me satan!" and get my hour back in check. It doesn't always work that quickly but what a waste it is. For every hour of anger, sadness, bitterness and negativity, I shall never get that back. I chose NOT to live that way and you can chose your way and whatever you chose, I will not judge you for your life is yours alone, and I want to answer my Savior with "yes, Lord, I believe I made a difference for Your Kingdom." If you are reading this, know that I love you and care for you and hope that you have an amazing day!