There are times that I get disapponted. It is usually in the way that someone responds to me, either directly or indirectly. I have come to realize that being diappointed is all about perspective. If someone does something I don't like or a situation happened that I was not happy with I would get disppointed and I felt I had the right to be disappointed, but at what cost to who? No one can make me disappointed without my permission right? Well, I will continue to be disappointed but I am not going to let that happen as often. Communication is the key; open my mouth and speak up. I cannot change what I don't understand, and I need to understand the situation and know that the other person in question understands and is aware. I need to look at; is it the situation or the person that I am disppointed with and why?
I have been trying to look at things with a new perspective and putting a positive spin on the situation and what has happened (or what I think has happened). I hope that this will decrease my disappointement and help me to stop taking things personally. (AKA "getting a thicker skin").
I choose to try to have more control of my actions and emotions; my disappointment, my anger, my tears, and my heart.
I have always seen things like I was told to see things, but I have a mind of my own and beliefs all my own too. I am a very conservative Christian and I tend to err on the side of caution than to push the envelope (or cross the line). Avoiding confrontation though keeps me from standing up for what I believe in. There are some issues that I do speak up for; I don't believe there is any reason at all for abortion. I don't believe there is ever a reason that rape is justified, and I really dislike when false prophets are speaking error and getting too much attention. I believe marriage is NOT disposable and children need to be raised by both birth parents when possible. I also believe that marriage is for one man, and one woman and that skacking up or having sex before marriage is wrong, because God said it and it is so.
These are not areas that I will ever change my perspective on, and surely there are more, but daily my perspective needs to have all the facts before the mind starts to assess the situation.
I love when days are happy and busy. I love spending time with my husband and son, and truly love spending time with family and friends.
Now as the school year draws to a close, my 'baby' will enter the 9th grade in the fall. Where has the time gone and how can I get a new perspective on that? Whew!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
How does your sin affect another?
This has been a topic of conversation recently in bible class and home. We have young ladies that have been an important part of our lives. They always will be important to us and we will always be here for them, but they are making the choice to live in sin. Knowing the truth of what Christ says, because they were taught that while they were with us. I love these girls and pray they come back to the Lord. The sin of fornication and living with a person to whom they are not married, is not something I can condone. I have talked to my girls and often I hear that I am being judgemental. But wait a minute, it is not MY law but the One who created me and the One who created them. I am NOT judging their behavior but I am loving them enough to remind them what God wants from their lives. It is ironic that when one is confronted about their ungodly behavior, one of two things happen; 1) they get defensive and start trying to turn scripture around to make the person that loves them enough to show them the error of their ways, look like they are doing something wrong. 2) They lay the blame on another. Such is the case in many instances of adultery; where the guilty party blames the innocent spouse by saying, "they weren't attending to MY needs; I wasn't getting the attention from them that I needed; or they weren't giving it to me at home so I went elsewhere for it." This last one was heard from a family member and was followed by a "are you seriously blaming your spouse for your affair?" Both are spoken in an attempt to clear their conscious of the guilt of their actions.
I don't understand the pull of people to gravitate towards adultery. I do understand the sexual feelings that people have, but I don't understand the drive to follow through with the actions. It takes a lot of planning and a lot of thought to actually commit to the action. In both of these sins, there is only one thing people are thinking about...THEMSELVES. It is all about them at that moment with those feelings, and they don't think of the line of distruction that will follow. God designed one man for one woman, till death do them part. Those feelings were there when they were dating their spouse, if they would remember those feelings and re-live that time, they would put the other person out of their mind. "The other person" will usually do whatever they can to get THEIR way, but it is never God's way. Problems arise in marriage, my marriage has had it's share, but I LOVE my husband and could not ever imagine putting him through the heartache of knowing that I gave what has only belonged to him, to another. I could not stand the pain my heart will feel if he ever did that to me.
I guess people sometimes look for the "easy way out", or what they see as that. No relationship is ever easy; they all take a lot of work on both parties sides and no marriage is ever past the point of no return. My husband moved out once when we were younger. He moved out for a whole 3 hours and neither of us could stand it and we resolved the issue then and there. Every relationship is about give and take. Through every year of marriage you learn a little more of what pleases your spouse, and you strive to do just that. The longer you are married, the more you know how to please your spouse in every aspect of your marriage. You hear a lot of time in an adulterous situation, "they just weren't making me happy anymore" or "I don't love them anymore". Seriously, lust and love are not anywhere close on the scales. Lust is time limited, but love, when nurtured and cared for only has one choice to bloom and grow.
The one thing I find amusing in the instance where an adulterous affair breaks up one, possibly two families that God has joined together, and the adulterous couple weds. How does one ever trust the other? How can you look at them with love and trust that they will not do EXACTLY what they did when the adulterous affair took place? How do you know they won't "fall out of love with you?" or get bored and start looking for greener pastures. There is NO such thing as greener pastures. If you want greener pastures, start tending your own pasture, with fertilizer and care. Start loving your spouse like God wants you to, and remember the feelings of when you were dating. Those feelings when you couldn't wait to see them, hug and to kiss them. Those feelings of being frustrated from saving yourself for your wedding night. All those feelings are still there, but have been pushed aside by life, work, children and responsibility. Put your priorities in order. Find God and strengthen your relationship with Him. Remember and rekindle those feelings you had with your spouse "back in the day". It can and will be that good again, but usually so much BETTER.
A committed relationship through marriage is comfortable and reassuring, knowing that in the end, you will still be hand in hand with the one who stole your heart at 15, who gave you your first kiss and who is the father of your precious boys. In the end, God won't want to hear your excuses of why you broke His marriage union with another and why you gave a gift that your spouse should have had to others before your spouse. In the end, it WILL be His law that judges, not mine and in the end, I hope you remember that I tried to direct you to another path away from sin.
I love people and I don't like to see people hurt or cry. Children are the most impacted in the breakup of a marriage. This is one area that I can personally speak of. I don't like that the man that gave me life, chose to step out of ours, because he chose other women instead of focusing on what he could do to make his family better. Two babies wondering why their daddy didn't love them enough to stay. And he didn't, because he stayed away for way too long, past the point of return. I grew up without a daddy and the relationships I see that I treasure are healthy relationships between a godly father and his daughter. I have seen many good fathers and am envious of their daughters, but glad that their fathers didn't chose the same fate for their lives that mine did. My life was good and I probably would not be the person I am today, had he stayed, but I am very blessed.
Make the most of what you have. Make your marriage the best it ever was, every day. Love like tomorrow is not guaranteed and remember that keeping and improving the marriage you have is so much better than any lustful relationship you could enter into tomorrow. Pray for strength when the devil knocks at your door and for His sake, don't open it!
I don't understand the pull of people to gravitate towards adultery. I do understand the sexual feelings that people have, but I don't understand the drive to follow through with the actions. It takes a lot of planning and a lot of thought to actually commit to the action. In both of these sins, there is only one thing people are thinking about...THEMSELVES. It is all about them at that moment with those feelings, and they don't think of the line of distruction that will follow. God designed one man for one woman, till death do them part. Those feelings were there when they were dating their spouse, if they would remember those feelings and re-live that time, they would put the other person out of their mind. "The other person" will usually do whatever they can to get THEIR way, but it is never God's way. Problems arise in marriage, my marriage has had it's share, but I LOVE my husband and could not ever imagine putting him through the heartache of knowing that I gave what has only belonged to him, to another. I could not stand the pain my heart will feel if he ever did that to me.
I guess people sometimes look for the "easy way out", or what they see as that. No relationship is ever easy; they all take a lot of work on both parties sides and no marriage is ever past the point of no return. My husband moved out once when we were younger. He moved out for a whole 3 hours and neither of us could stand it and we resolved the issue then and there. Every relationship is about give and take. Through every year of marriage you learn a little more of what pleases your spouse, and you strive to do just that. The longer you are married, the more you know how to please your spouse in every aspect of your marriage. You hear a lot of time in an adulterous situation, "they just weren't making me happy anymore" or "I don't love them anymore". Seriously, lust and love are not anywhere close on the scales. Lust is time limited, but love, when nurtured and cared for only has one choice to bloom and grow.
The one thing I find amusing in the instance where an adulterous affair breaks up one, possibly two families that God has joined together, and the adulterous couple weds. How does one ever trust the other? How can you look at them with love and trust that they will not do EXACTLY what they did when the adulterous affair took place? How do you know they won't "fall out of love with you?" or get bored and start looking for greener pastures. There is NO such thing as greener pastures. If you want greener pastures, start tending your own pasture, with fertilizer and care. Start loving your spouse like God wants you to, and remember the feelings of when you were dating. Those feelings when you couldn't wait to see them, hug and to kiss them. Those feelings of being frustrated from saving yourself for your wedding night. All those feelings are still there, but have been pushed aside by life, work, children and responsibility. Put your priorities in order. Find God and strengthen your relationship with Him. Remember and rekindle those feelings you had with your spouse "back in the day". It can and will be that good again, but usually so much BETTER.
A committed relationship through marriage is comfortable and reassuring, knowing that in the end, you will still be hand in hand with the one who stole your heart at 15, who gave you your first kiss and who is the father of your precious boys. In the end, God won't want to hear your excuses of why you broke His marriage union with another and why you gave a gift that your spouse should have had to others before your spouse. In the end, it WILL be His law that judges, not mine and in the end, I hope you remember that I tried to direct you to another path away from sin.
I love people and I don't like to see people hurt or cry. Children are the most impacted in the breakup of a marriage. This is one area that I can personally speak of. I don't like that the man that gave me life, chose to step out of ours, because he chose other women instead of focusing on what he could do to make his family better. Two babies wondering why their daddy didn't love them enough to stay. And he didn't, because he stayed away for way too long, past the point of return. I grew up without a daddy and the relationships I see that I treasure are healthy relationships between a godly father and his daughter. I have seen many good fathers and am envious of their daughters, but glad that their fathers didn't chose the same fate for their lives that mine did. My life was good and I probably would not be the person I am today, had he stayed, but I am very blessed.
Make the most of what you have. Make your marriage the best it ever was, every day. Love like tomorrow is not guaranteed and remember that keeping and improving the marriage you have is so much better than any lustful relationship you could enter into tomorrow. Pray for strength when the devil knocks at your door and for His sake, don't open it!
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