Sunday, July 26, 2009

What life holds...

This weekend was a really good weekend...almost. It was nice but life has a way of bringing you back to reality. As I sit and think,I listen to my washer making some really funny noises. But it is only 12 months old, maybe it is a fluke or maybe we will have issues with it. Who knows? But what is the worst that can happen? We would have to go to the laundry mat.
On Friday night we went to Alicia and Gary's wedding reception. (I almost typed Alicia and Rob because that is how it has always been. I am so glad that Alicia has found Gary and she seems so happy. I don't know if I could ever be as strong as her and I really admire her so much. She really had me laughing the other day. Tragically, Rob was taken from her,(and everyone else that loved him) after having an automobile accident the night before her birthday and their anniversary. He had gone out to buy her flowers and was returning. I remember the night like it was yesterday, and all the events until I got that call from Amber telling me that Rob had passed away. He had survived the accident and was making slow progress of improvement, for I believe 4 months and then had a deadly set back. They were supposed to grow old together but that was not to be. But Gary is her second chance to love and to be loved. They are so cute together and I hope we get to spend some time getting to know him soon. They have merged two families and she has such insight into life changes and is such a bright spot in everyone's life. I questioned whether or not to go, after all, I thought it might be uncomfortable but boy, was I wrong. Some friends that we had not seen since early 2008 were there and it was so great to see Don & Shellee. Just a reminder of how much we have missed cutting up with them. Crazy family and they have added an addition to their family and he is absolutly precious and they just found out they are going to be grandparents.
Saturday was a day of family togetherness. Sometimes that is good and sometimes that is bad. The jury is still out on this day. I enjoyed myself although there seemed to be a lot of tension in the air. It really did make me sad though because family is family and we all really tick everyone off sometimes and we have to forgive and forget. ALl the children need to know and be close to their cousins but a lot of these hard feelings are preventing more interaction with the family. I HATE when families fight, and avoid confrontation. I have been on both sides of the coin. I have been the hurt and the hurter. But even though I have been hurt, I want my children to be close to family. My family, his family, the whole family! I would never run down family in front of my children and never tell my children to avoid family. It makes me sad that sometimes families don't mind their own business. It is historically documented that everyone knows everything there is about children. You have millions of opinions, articles and books. But common sense should always prevail. I know my child and what my child needs, and everyone should respect that. While I have learned to SHUT MY MOUTH and not offer advice unless asked, and that can sometimes be a double edged sword too. No matter what your anser, you are in TROUBLE. Just as in the church, in the family you will have people that betray you. Yes, I said family will betray you. And that hurts so bad too, but we are not promised tomorrow and tomorrow may never come and all the anger and resentment begins anew when you get together. Why? I don't know, but I do know that I avoid confrontation like the plague! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying something really stupid. Right and wrong, sin and not is all in the individual believers thoughts. What is wrong in my eyes may not be wrong in another's eyes. Christian brothers and sisters and family can be the last to forgive and just think about the time that you have lost being angry. I don't feel like I have a lot of really close friends, just people that tolerate me, but that doesn't mean I love tham any less. Some of the people I love the most in this world are the ones that have hurt me the worst. WOW! That was a doozie of a statement, but it is true and could name a half dozen here and now. It always amazes me how an entire family can come together diferences, and anger and such and put on like nothing is happening. Is that good or bad? I just said I hate confrontation but I also hate wondering how people feel about me. That is me, the worrier. I have avoided many a family function because of a conflict and rather thatn go and feed the anger, I politely decline to make the trip. I can be a bit of a loner and want my time sometimes. But I will avoid confrontation at almost any cost! I notice my boys are like that too. They don't want to battle with anyone unless it is on Wii.
I have so much love in my heart for people that sometimes I think it will explode. I am just coming to terms with everything and trying to take one day at a time. I hope no one has been offended with my blog, because that was NOT the intent, but I would like to see all our family love each other truly and with total forgiveness. I love you all!

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