As we near the end of our journey with our perfect Princess, it is not without the scars of battle. A new chapter in her life will begin and I can only pray that the chapter that ends with us is a happy feeling within her soul. I hope she knows she was loved unconditionally and without reserve. I know that tears will be shed and a piece of me will be somewhere in Texas away from me but I trust that God has His hand on her future and has chosen the family that is right for her.
My scars that are showing are the scars of stress. My body is reacting, or over-reacting to the stress of the situation. I have Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) for short. I have had this dysfunction in my body for well over 20 years. First diagnosed when I was engaged to my husband and my GYN was certain that I had a tubal pregnancy. Well, I knew, and my fiancee knew that a tubal pregnancy was physically impossible, as he was in Alaska and I was in Texas, and further more, we had chosen to save that part of our relationship for our wedding day. (Or I had chosen to save that part of our relationship for our wedding day!~). At my insistence (and trying to avoid surgery) the doctor performed more tests and discovered that I was right, it was NOT a tubal pregnancy but an ovarian cyst that had ruptured. This began years of infertility and lost pregnancies, weight gain, depression and tears. I tell you this because since having my last child, I have had no sign of PCOS, until now, and has it ever reared it's ugly head.
It all started with a zit, (you know the commercial, they tell two friends and so on, and so on...) and another and another. Then came the frustration with weight loss, and the other signs. My PCOS was kicking my butt. Funny thing is, I should have always stayed on medication for this, but was taken off years ago. After speaking to my doctor who actually listens to her patients, we started a course of treatment, slowly at first and my body was kicking and screaming. Stubborn as it is (you know, I swear that my fat cells are super glued in or have formed some type of union in my body with plans to never release) everything happens for a reason, and the stress of this situation has brought on my worst nightmare. But I will get myself back in check.
PCOS has many signs; insulin resistance, acne, trouble losing weight, depression, etc. but need I go on. I got started on metformin which is a diabetic medicine and is used to treat PCOS as well as Metabolic Syndrome Disorder which also comes from PCOS. The most frustrating thing is when you say you are on metformin, people assume you are diabetic. But I am not....yet. I say yet, because both sides of my family are plagued with diabetes and it frightens me. I will not go quietly into the world of diabetes. I will fight it will every bone in my body
The bottom line is that I have not taken care of me these last 6 months. My bloodwork showed my cholesterol levels were off. Which ones? All of them! Triglycerides are high, good count low, bad count high. Never, ever had I had a problem with cholesterol, then it dawned on me...I had ran out of fish oil tabs from Sam's Club and had not gotten any yet and it has been months! UGH! I take those to keep my cholesterol down and to help with my joints! So doctor prescribes prescription meds and I don't want to take them! Wht to do, what to do? Talk to her, I guess.
Once the princess is swept away to her new castle, I intend to take some time for me, to get my health back in check and to get my levels where they need to be. It seems like I am falling apart in this fast paced world. I had complete ACL replacement on July 15th...3 months ago and my knee feels good, but I have to take care of me or me will not be around to take care of others. Priorities plan in check, my Savior to thank for the blessings He has bestowed upon the Princess and us, more prayers for an easy transition on all of us.
Life ain't fair, but it's still good.
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