What is the most incredible feeling you have ever had? That feeling that made you want to laugh and cry. Whether you are male and female, I suspect that your response would be when you gave birth or witnessed the birth of your child/children/grandchildren. When I had Zachary, we were in Alaska and I also had him C-section and it was just myself and JimBob in the delivery/operating room. Within 8 minutes, I was prepped, operated on and in recovery. From 7:30 to 7:38am. I remember when they put him on my chest. He was SO BEAUTIFUL and so perfect and the drugs must have been really good because I thought, "I just gave birth to my brother." The delivery was quick and easy, but the recovery was a booger and I was 20 years old with no family at the time in Alaska. My husband was so wonderful. I was terrified that something would happen to my family flying in to Alaska, since volcano eruptions were occurring in Canada. JimBob cooked this magnificint meal of homemade chicken fried steak, potatoes and broccoli casserole and I could not eat a bite. It was overwhelming to me after the delivery. Zachary's actual due date was January 10th, and late December, the doctors said, "Oops, we estimated wrong by a month". He should have been due around December 10th. With the holidays approaching and doctors not wanting to interrupt their holidays, they opted to do a c-section on December 29th if he stayed in until then. They actually told us that I could deliver naturally but before I could push, they would have to go in and break both of Zach's shoulders. Well, anyone that knows me, should know that was NOT an option. My baby was not going to experience pain like that, and I would do anything to keep that from happening. We opted for c-section. Well, I had too much time to think. Here I am 20 years old, never had a broken bone, never had stitches, never had surgery other than my tonsils out as a toddler, and they were going to cut my baby out of me, but at least he would not go through pain. I didn't sleep a wink that night before the c-section and bless the nurses heart, she sat with me most of the night.
The doctors estimated that Zach was well over 12 pounds for being "in the oven" so long, but they were off a bit. He was only 9 pounds 12 ounces, but still a big beautiful boy. We had been told for 8 months that he was a girl. Military ultasound equipment was really bad, because there was no question at the last ultrasound. We had ALL PINK! Baby showers in Texas and mailed up to us were all girl! We had to quickly get soemthing to bring my baby boy home in. JimBob had a real problem with putting him in pink!? HAHA! I was so happy when we took him home and just felt like he did not really belong to me. I was in awe of God's blessing. How can anyone ever hold a newborn child and NOT believe there is a God. Of all the things that can go wrong during a pregnancy and don't most of the time. How can anyone ever see or hear a babys heartbeat and go on with an abortion? I don't understand how we have gone so backwards, when we destroy the greatest blessings that God could ever bestow on the human race!
When Zach turned one, we decided to have another child. Months passed and still no pregnancy. So we sought help and began infertility treatment. That can be very humbling and very personal. Five years we went through infertility trying everything short of invitro. I had already had three miscarriages and had decided that IF it ever happened again, we would not share until 1/2 way through, because that was the safe zone. No one needed to hurt except me. Five years of trying was unsuccessful but was a very enjoyable 5 years. We made the decision to discontinue treatments, enjoy our one blessing and get out of the Air Force and return back to Texas. The following month, I missed my cycle, but that was nothing new, so I just kept moving and the next month, same story. I ignored the signs for fear of the pain, but 3 months missing was odd. So instead of having a person tell me "not pregnant", I just bought a little kit at the BX. Ran the test and walked away, for 30 minutes, knowing I would be negative, but it wasn't, it was positive. I was now way past the questionable time frame. We were optimistically excited, but still did not share our news yet. We did finally share with the family and friends and began packing for our move. We planned to have the baby in Charleston, SC and then make the move to Texas. JimBob began checking on things and found out that he would have more than 30 days leave and we could have the baby in Texas with family. SO we packed quicker and made the move, not anticipating the reluctancy of doctors wanting to take a 36 week patient insisting on v-bac. (vaginal birth after c-section) Found and doctor and he really wanted to do the c-section so if anything started going wrong he was taking me to the OR. Well, I wanted V-bac so I waited a bit once my water broke 2 weeks early to go in. Brayden Kenneth (name after my grandfather and maternal uncle) arrived on September 9th at 3:01pm, although my water broke at 12:30am. My husband, my mom and my mother in law were present for the birth of my second son. He was such an amazing baby and I thought he was tiny, after Zach, weighing 8 pounds 3 ounces.
All that said, I think children are the greatest blessing in this life. I love/loved raising my boys and I love spending every single day with my foster children. I don't understand the circumstances that leads these wonderful children to come into my home, but I enjoy every second with them. Foster children that come from abusive and neglectful homes are only wanting to be held and loved and taken care of. Given the right environment, they can catch up to the areas that are lacking due to the abuse and neglect. I consider it such a challenge to teach everything to them that I can. Especially unconditional love and security. I have no control over the outcome of the cases, but strive to love them until they move on in the system. They are such a joy!
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