There is nothing that I love more than family; my birth family (some I am much closer to than others) but I love them all the same, my church family who has been there for me in such tremendous ways, but my immediate family - my husband and my boys and my daughter in law.
Facebook - good or evil? Yes and yes, and if you understand that, you have been on as long as I have and are beginning to hate what Facebook does to relationships. One of my best friends in high school; we went through cosmetology school together, had babies on the same day (both boys over 9 lbs. by c-section; her in Texas and myself in Alaska) and we both had weight loss surgery. So very much in common and so very dear to my heart, but she thought my status was about her one time and I have no idea what it was, but she released contact with me and that really hurt, because I love her craziness and the fun we had. Oh the stories we could tell!
Relationships sometimes go, and the pain still burns for a long time. It seems many have gotten to where they cannot agree to disagree. I talked with some very wise women this weekend about a relational problem I am having but I want to know what caused it so long ago and why we couldn't address it then and not let it build for so many years. Words can be the MOST hurtful thing, sharper than a razor, and words typed on Facebook, text, email, etc. can be so misunderstood by tone and facial expressions. I am a facial reader, and prefer face to face conversation.
My name is Stacy Holley and I have issues. I will be the first to admit it. I have been abandoned, molested, abused, hurt, rejected, betrayed and trampled. Through it all I still love. I can't read a tender story or watch a sweet video without tearing up. I come by it honest; I am cursed or blessed (I consider it a blessing) by this along with my maternal grandfather, my mom, my brother and some of my cousins. I cry because I hurt and I want us all to stop hurting each other; to agree to disagree and be able to tell each other when we hurt. I cry because I am happy or others are happy and that makes me happy. Life is too short to continue breaking each other down and causing one another pain.
I want to forgive and be forgiven. I want to love and be loved. I want to cry and be held. Of all the relationships in the world, the one I anguish over is the longest relationship I have known, one of blood, but one of courage. One that only knows some of the pain I feel for enduring the same. One that used to make me believe that it was myself and them against the world, arm in arm and heart to heart. I don't know what happened. Did we grow apart or just grow up. Time and distance between us, my heart never left theirs. Our views and opinions changed and we didn't see eye to eye but I have come to realize that no one can choose your path for you. It is not laid out in a pretty little package, it is yours to choose. Whether right or wrong, the choice is each persons. Are choices made a salvation issue and if Christ came at any point in my life or activity, would He chose to take me home? I have to think about MY choices because I will only answer for MY choices.
I know I have been guilty of NOT speaking in love and kindness and my tongue has had the bite of a serpent. For that I am truly sorry and have asked forgiveness for my actions that were less than what Christ would have of me. I live to serve Him and to set an example, to which I often fail miserably, and will fail until I draw my last breath. I try to learn from my mistakes and to not make them again.
When my life on earth is done, I want to be remembered for the good I did, the joy I brought others and I want people to say that I lived a life that exemplified a Christian example. I do not believe in once saved, always saved, but believe that I must ask forgiveness for my short comings, to God and to man.
My family will always be my family, my blood will always be my blood, but I also want them to be my eternal and heavenly family as well, because knowing the truth, their rewards will be endless when following the word of the Lord.
Wise words from a Christian sister...Is it a Salvation issue? Am I loving the way God instructs. Thoughts and words to ponder, while poring through scripture to search how to better my service in Him.
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