Life can be very oniony ... huh

I read a friend's status that "Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep."

Very accurate portrayal of life. I guess when you have no more to peel back, you are all used up and dead. So even when things are bad, be cautious about peeling back those layers and weep all you want. I hope I still have lots of layers to peel.


Lately life can be very oniony. I have officially closed my foster home, with much pain coming with that decision. My hope of adopting a daughter through foster care is where my pain begins, but caring for children is my heart. I absolutely love it. It is hard to do a job that tough, and the tough part of it is not the children and the daily care but the system and the workers within CPS. You trust certain people to work with you side by side and I have learned a lesson really hard; most people will fail you! CPS only cares about their own butts, and no matter what is in the best interest of a child, spite and vengeance will always prevail. My foster children were loved no less than my own children. They were loved, care for and treated like they should be treated. And you know I find it awfully ironic that CPS workers family's get the children they dream of but workers can decide the fate of my family. I think it is wrong and the 'system' in Hunt County needs an overhaul. I am angry that children are hurt and I am angry that good, loving foster parents are a dime a dozen. 


But on a lighter note, I am going back to school. The only thing I ever dreamed of as a child was being a social worker and caring for others needs. CPS has changed that for me, because I don't want to do a job that makes people bitter and resentful and oh, so hurtful! I want to help so I am investigating other ways to help children. 


Not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I know I love my job working at our church and I am not pursuing higher education on the pretense of a better paying job. I want to improve on my job, be better at my job and not have to ask so many questions to do my job. Thinking maybe an accounting major, but just not sure. DO they still let us count on our fingers?  :-)