Have you ever sat in church and listened to the sermon like it was written for you? Even though I know for certain it wasn't, it was exactly what I was needing. I have been doing my own private bible study concerning forgiveness and how to forgive myself. I am also my biggest critic, judge and jury and no one else could ever convict me harder than I convict myself. As well as forgiveness I have been studying confidence (because I am lacking that). I have ordered a book that comes out in August called "The Confident Woman" and I am not working on the author's study and pre-book study she has posted, but more about that later.
In studying about forgiveness, my thoughts go to others, I can preach self-forgiveness like I am convicted by it, but my words speak way louder than my actions. I always doubt myself, criticize myself and condemn myself. Do you know how sometimes things just click? Well, the sermon today was ones of those 'clicks' for me. I am always telling my kids that the only person whose opinion matters is God. If you are doing what God has asked, everyone should approve. (But we all know that is not always the way of the world.) My words came back to bite me and I understand now how wrong I was. When I asked God to forgive my wrongs, and He did, but I could not forgive myself, what am I doing? Am I saying I am higher than God? I believe that anyone that knows me, knows that I am not like that. Am I saying Jesus' blood sacrifice was not important? In a way I was, I was being very disrespectful to Christ, His sacrifice, and His grace.
Asking for forgiveness from Him, AND forgiving myself are key to receiving His grace. They are key to healing from your own iniquities. When He makes a promise, He keeps His promises and I needed to understand that I have to believe in His plan and stop judging myself when the true judge has already freed me from the bondage of my sins. If I am going to make a request for forgiveness from Him, I need to follow through with the plan, and stop letting my past interfere with my present and most definitely keep it out of my future by learning from my mistakes and not repeating them.
I appreciate Randy Daw and his honest preaching. He doesn't just preach to us, he preaches to himself as well, and that is very humbling, but mostly encouraging to me.
All in all, it was an amazing weekend. Zach and Jo are home until August 6th and he will fly out to Korea for a year and she will head out to Indiana between the middle to end of August. It was nice coming home and all my kids were home. Saturday got the yard all done, dogs all bathed, and we hit some thrift stores and the Super Goodwill in Garland and then we spent time with JB's parents, my parents, my kids, all at Jb's brother's home, swimming, playing games and cooking out. I was wonderful family time. Sunday is my favorite day of the week, and today was wonderful. I cooked a roast, potatoes, carrots since my best friend Donna and her daughter Mollie were coming in to drop off Mollie for the week. I have needed my Mollie fix. I also found out the Adam (Hoss) and his very pregnant wife were coming for lunch (so I added another roast to the other one) and we had a wonderful lunch and visiting time. Then I got a short nap before church; it was JB, me and Mollie in our big 'ole king bed napping. Just like old times. My boys always liked to nap with us and Mollie does too for Sunday naps, she always has. I am looking forward to this week with all my wonderful kiddos and time will tell how long Mollie will be with me.
I hope you have a wonderful week!
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