It has been a while since I blogged. I just haven't been into it and truly had nothing to say. I also have been fully reprimanded (Thanks Janet) and will try to do a better job.
After 3 weeks with my PICC line in, it was removed. The doctor thought I could hold my own and we need to see what the degree of malabsorption I am going to have. There are options and I am fighting to keep my protein levels up. I feel like I eat ALL day! I keep protein all around me; protein bars, nuts, beef jerky, peanut butter, and protein powder. I have found an amazing protein powder that is good but it is also a tad bit pricey. But trying to choke something down that I hate is also a waste of money, so spending the money on something I like is worth the cost. So, should I sign up to distribute? That is the question. I have so much to think about.
This weekend was Ladies Retreat 2011 and what an amazing weekend it was. I often wonder why we only do this once a year, because it such a wonderful weekend. I backed out twice because my week was very burdened and emotional, but I needed to be there because the subject was "Carrying each other's burdens." WOW, this is something I needed. I listened and believe that we all at Johnson Street are there for each other and we do carry each other's burdens. Our biggest problem is that most of us don't ask because we don't want to burden others with our burdens. I am the worlds worst, because I have a very hard time turning over my burden to another, even Christ. But I am depriving my sisters and brothers of the priveledge of helping me to carry my burdens. I want to carry theirs and all of mine. But I can't and I realize that.
I got to room with one of my best friends. I truly enjoyed the time that we spent together and the time we had talking. We both stay so busy with the going ons of our children and we miss out on girl time. I hope to fix that soon too because we need girl time to talk and laugh. Although we love our husbands and kiddos we still need our girl time. I had every intention of having talks with two people, one was an acquaintance that feels I have wronged her, and one was a friend that made a mistake and hurt me. She immediately asked for forgiveness and it was immediately granted but it still doesn't make it hurt any less. I needed some time to process and gain my composure and then she and I planned to talk. It was a good talk although it was very hard to come by, and interruptions were many, and excused, but confidentiality was at the foremost of both of our minds. I feel so much better talking to her. I needed her to understand and her confiding in another mutual friend of ours who confirmed that my feelings were the same that she would feel and was right on target helped her to understand. We all have different things that trigger our emotions and knowing what those are helps us to be better friends. You expect things from some and never expect it from others. I NEVER saw that coming so it hurt equally hard. Too often I allow people to hurt me and I carry that burden but I couldn't this time because our relationship is very important to me, I love my friend, I trust my friend and I need my friend. Friendships are hard to come by, true relationships, and I am not willing to throw any away for 1 mistake. To my friend, thank you for talking and thank you for understanding, I love you!
I remember growing up, we always had people over for Sunday lunch and we used to do that all the time and I loved it. I admit, I got very discouraged when I was turned down repeatedly, but there are those that would love to come over and I was just asking the wrong people. I want to start doing this again and getting to know my church family better, one at a time. They are amazing, they are strong, they are weak, they love, they give, they share, and we are all sinners and we are all in need of forgiveness. We all disappoint each other, and we all forgive and we all love. That is how God wants it and that is who we strive to please.
I weigh in tomorrow, after missing last weekend. So as of 2 weeks ago, I had lost 65 pounds. I am curious as to the numbers now but I don't obsess about it. I can't and I won't.
I look forward to worship every Sunday. I can't imagine being anywhere else. I love hearing Randy and Brandon preach, they keep my attention and they make me think. If you imagine that they are preaching directly at you, you get so much more out of the lesson. That can be good and that can be bad. It can make you question eeverything you are about and it can make you doubt yourself, but it can also reinforce that God loves me and God loves you and He knows we are gonna mess up and He will fogive us if we ask. I always need to check and double check myself. I always need to make sure that I am serving my Christian family and helping to carry their burdens.
Until next post...
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
My undesirable weekend...
Albeit for me to know what to do.After talking with my doctor after he reviewed my labs, he has order for me to have a PICC line put in and TPN to be administered through the pick line. He told me it was 12 hours a day, I would stay hooked up. Said my potassium and protein were low. I went in Thursday morning and had the PICC line inserted. No big deal, not painful but not comfortable either.On Friday I started the TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) Well, when I read about it, I cried. I have been feeling like I am eating all the time and now this. My complications have been very rare times 3. Very rare that the esophagus gets so raw like mine did. Very rare that someone has major mal-absorption problems and very rare that they need to use TPN. I even have my own home health nurse named, Penny, but doesn't that make me feel worse. Penny was surprised that I was not in bed with my lab readings. Exhausted am I? Yes, but to the point of laying around idle? NO! Penny is having a whole new realm of her job. I am her first ever working patient, not by my doctor's or Penny's approval. They think I need rest and I agree but not that kind of rest. I would be so depressed being stuck at home and in bed or in the hospital. I can do this...I think and hope.
Many things are not as we talked about. Like, this is not for 12 hours but 24 hours and I have to infuse the TPN with 2 syringes of vitamins before hooking it up. I also found out today that I have antibiotics in my bag, and I don't know why I have antibiotics. Penny came to work, her first time, and changed my bandage and cleaned it. My PICC line bled the first day and it was all under the clear bandage and pretty nasty. She also has to draw blood on Mondays and Thursday to see how my levels are coming along. I am doing what is best for me. Doctor T said he could "fix" me in a few weeks instead of a few months this way. I trust Dr. T, so I am abiding with his expertise. I just dislike feeling like this, attached to lines and carrying around a bag of my 'groceries'. I wanted to avoid the questions, I have heard comments like "she must have cancer" or "what's wrong with her?" Well, there is a lot wrong with me...but nothing is 'wrong', I am trying to fix all this and praying I don't have a major absorption problem forever.
MY fear is having to reverse the surgery. My fear is founded although because my maternal grandmother was one of the first gastric bypass patients ever and had to have it reversed. We are talking back in 1969-1970. She developed rheumatoid arthritis from the mal-absorption and was in a lot of pain. A doctor at Baylor reversed the surgery and she fully recovered but once again battled her weight for years. She lost a ton of weight doing the Medifast weight loss program in 1988-1989, and was very thin. Cancer eventually took her life in 2001. She would have been my biggest supporter for this surgery.
I am trying to not interrupt my life, my families life and others by my lack of energy and strength. I am praying I will see an increase soon in strength and endurance. I am praying for the successful turn of events I gambled on with this surgery. Frustration, yes....but nothing I cannot handle, just sometimes I need a good cry and had one this morning.
Many things are not as we talked about. Like, this is not for 12 hours but 24 hours and I have to infuse the TPN with 2 syringes of vitamins before hooking it up. I also found out today that I have antibiotics in my bag, and I don't know why I have antibiotics. Penny came to work, her first time, and changed my bandage and cleaned it. My PICC line bled the first day and it was all under the clear bandage and pretty nasty. She also has to draw blood on Mondays and Thursday to see how my levels are coming along. I am doing what is best for me. Doctor T said he could "fix" me in a few weeks instead of a few months this way. I trust Dr. T, so I am abiding with his expertise. I just dislike feeling like this, attached to lines and carrying around a bag of my 'groceries'. I wanted to avoid the questions, I have heard comments like "she must have cancer" or "what's wrong with her?" Well, there is a lot wrong with me...but nothing is 'wrong', I am trying to fix all this and praying I don't have a major absorption problem forever.
MY fear is having to reverse the surgery. My fear is founded although because my maternal grandmother was one of the first gastric bypass patients ever and had to have it reversed. We are talking back in 1969-1970. She developed rheumatoid arthritis from the mal-absorption and was in a lot of pain. A doctor at Baylor reversed the surgery and she fully recovered but once again battled her weight for years. She lost a ton of weight doing the Medifast weight loss program in 1988-1989, and was very thin. Cancer eventually took her life in 2001. She would have been my biggest supporter for this surgery.
I am trying to not interrupt my life, my families life and others by my lack of energy and strength. I am praying I will see an increase soon in strength and endurance. I am praying for the successful turn of events I gambled on with this surgery. Frustration, yes....but nothing I cannot handle, just sometimes I need a good cry and had one this morning.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Our Weekend and Memorial
What an incredible, emotional, fun and satisfying weekend. When we headed towards Houston, it was all talk about what to do, where to spend time & money, where to eat.
Something nice about a car trip is the talking. You can talk without preoccupations from the evil television. I don’t care for a lot of TV but my guys do. For some reason when the TV is on, it is the only volume that my honey can hear. Feminine voices are completely muted! We have a sweet friend at church that saw that we were booking hotel rooms during my lunch one day and offered us his reward points to stay at the hotel we had already selected. We appreciate him SO VERY MUCH! Our trip budget went down so far! My honey goes in to check us in and when we went up the elevator, he was standing in front of the elevator buttons and I didn’t pay any attention to him or them. When the elevator opened, we were on the 14th floor A.K.A the Pent House floor. I quickly told him we were on the wrong floor and he must have forgotten to press our floor button and he said ‘no, this is right”. By now I am waiting for the security to swarm in and kick us out of the hotel because riff raff like us doesn’t belong on the pent house floor! I very cautiously stepped out of the elevator and followed him to our room 1421. Immediately, he goes to our balcony and swings the doors open and goes out, “come on out,” he says knowing full well that I don’t like heights. I stuck my head out but the view was absolutely breathtaking. We had a full view of the lake, Clear Lake, the docks, tennis courts and at the other end, we had NASA in view. Having the door open and hearing the water and the seagulls and laughter from the pool, I could LIVE like that! I only stepped out when he was not in the room because I really do look retarded!
Naturally we decided that seafood would be the majority of our dinner choices since we were going to the coast. Fish agrees very well with me and goes down quite well, but I don’t like a ‘fishy fish’, I like a mild flaky white fish with tarter sauce, of course. My honey prefers cocktail sauce for all his seafood, so he gets all the red and I get all the white. We ate at Casey Guidos on Saturday night and met with some family. Two aunts/uncles and a cousin and their families. We had both sides of JB’s family there, and it was a really nice evening. They capped it off with some Ben & Jerry’s. I believe that I may be having some lactose intolerance from my surgery so I avoid milk products at certain times. I have totally been avoiding milk all together and searching for an alternative. There is nothing worse than a romantic evening spoiled by complications from lactose intolerances.
After we had dinner we pondered what to do and many places came to mind, so while driving around I saw at tattoo parlor called “Painful Pleasures” and told my honey to ‘put his money where his mouth was’. He has been talking about getting an Air Force logo tattoo on his back right calf for 2 years, and what is the only way to shush a man when they want something? Get it! Well, he did and it is really nice but here is the story…..
He goes into the shop and speaks to Brandy. She specializes in blending tattoos and re-dos/cover-ups. (You know the people that fall in love one night and tat a name on their bodies and break up the next week?) Her blending techniques were quite impressive and she was an outstanding artist! She was about to go to lunch, and so we shopped other places for the 45 minutes she was gone. When we finished and returned, she drew up the tat for approval. I had planned to get my dragonfly touched up since it has faded so much. I was also thinking about getting a long stem rose on my foot with my boys name in my writing as the stem. The long stem rose was about my grandmother; when she was so sick with cancer, she asked me, ‘if I beat this cancer again, I want you to take me to get a rose tattoo on my ankle’. She had always wanted one and never did because ‘what would people think?’ I got neither that night because of the time it took Brandy to get things prepared. It is nice to have a perfectionist tattoo artist though since it will permanently be on your body. She had to redraw once because she didn’t like the placement the first time. Once she started, it was funny (to only me, Brandy, Joanna & Zach who were communicating by text) because as soon as that needle hit his skin, his eyes got so big and he took a deep breath, clenched his fists and his adrenaline kicked in. He did not like it at all. I guess my definition of the ‘pain’ wasn’t, as he would describe it. It was annoying to me, like a child poking your arm over and over and over; “mom, mom, mom, mom?” The next time I looked at my honey he had sweat beading on his forehead, and he DID NOT like me smiling/chuckling at him. He was angry; at me, at her, just at the pain. And understand that his tat was 4 inches wide and 5 inches tall and was to be completely colored in with black, blue and white! Once Brandy finished the outline, JB told her SHE needed a break and to go smoke a cigarette! HAHA! WHO needs the break? It was finished shortly after she returned from her break. After it was completed and pictures were taken, Brandy told him that next time she would use the numbing gel, and IF LOOKS COULD HAVE KILLED, poor Brandy would be history. He says, “we could have used numbing gel, and YOU didn’t?” She said you have to experience your first, as she and I quietly chuckled! He says this was his first and last, numbing gel or no numbing gel! The inside of the calf at the top was the most tender for him. By that time, it was 2 in the morning and we were both exhausted. I have enjoyed teasing him though; he (as most fun men) is an easy target. Wonder if that is why God made the women birth the children, could you imagine? We would all only have one child if men had to have the babies and if he had talked to another man that had already birthed one, you would remain childless! Women seem to play down their pain, because it is life and we have WAY too much to do, while men, accentuate their pain for the ‘big fish’ stories and the sympathy.
The reason we headed to Houston this weekend was because my sweet youth minister, Mickey, from my time at Mesquite Church of Christ had lost his wife and I needed to be there for him. Only 3 from my youth group were there. He meant so much to me in so many ways and was an incredible influence over many of my choices, as was his sweet wife, Liz. I didn’t realize the ranges of emotions that I would feel to see him again. Overjoyed and saddened at the event that brought us back together. I didn’t expect his reaction. My honey went to introduce himself to Mickey although they had met some 27 years ago, and Mickey never let me live it down. Mickey witnessed the first kiss between JB and I (and my first kiss ever) and teased me all the time. He asked me that night if JB was trying to eat my head?? Mickey was so fun and so funny! We used to sing, “Oh, Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine, you blow my mind… to him all the time and he would do a silly dance of some sort. He was crazy and very predictable. Easy to talk to and easy to be around. You never questioned Mickey’s moods or his feelings toward you. He had the BEST big bear hugs and knew that everyone needed them and they were always available. I have so missed that in this current world of questioning appropriateness of hugs. Mickey never questioned and I never have. Hugs are a simple expression of love for another. Simple love, not sexual love. Liz was so amazing as well. Every devotional was at their church owned home, and every Tuesday we had “Hour of Power” which was our weekly bible study/devotional time. It never was an hour and we loved hanging in the kitchen while talking to Liz. They had 1 small child, Shane at the time and he was a ring-tailed tooter. We often waited for Liz to put Shane to bed so we could have her undivided attention and visit. She was always the gracious host. The church had built an addition onto the back of the youth minister home and that was where everything happened. We always had a ‘home’ for devos and activities. We always went in around the back to allow the front entrance to be used as their personal entrance. But Mickey was always at the door to the youth room with a big “HELLO” and a hug if you desired. I have so many wonderful memories and I relied a lot on Mickey and his advice for many of my decisions and choices. I looked up to him. Without having a father in my life, I needed someone who was living like I wanted to live. Mickey was no way old enough to be my father-figure as he was only 15 years my senior, but I absorbed his words and advice and followed them as best I could. Up until a few years ago, I never met anyone that I looked up to like Mickey. I do have another I look up to now and his guidance has been instrumental in so much of my healing. He will never know how much I appreciate him.
The memorial service was beautiful and I only wish I could be half of the wife, mother, friend, and servant that Liz was. She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) 16 years ago. She had gone from an independent servant, to a walker bound servant, to finally a wheelchair bound servant. Her MS never slowed her and she never complained about her disease or the pain. She found me about 2 years ago on Facebook and we have had so many wonderful conversations about everything. Mickey says he cannot do Facebook, but I still encouraged him to get on there and play, to keep up with all of us, if he wants to. Mickey and I have already agreed to try to link up in July to see each other again. Liz went on disability and went off disability because she couldn’t stand not working and went back on later. She had a degree in home economics but worked in accounting/payroll most of her life.
With all that said, our weekend was fun, needed and will remind me often of how blessed I am. From the people that have been in my life and the people that are in my life.
Something nice about a car trip is the talking. You can talk without preoccupations from the evil television. I don’t care for a lot of TV but my guys do. For some reason when the TV is on, it is the only volume that my honey can hear. Feminine voices are completely muted! We have a sweet friend at church that saw that we were booking hotel rooms during my lunch one day and offered us his reward points to stay at the hotel we had already selected. We appreciate him SO VERY MUCH! Our trip budget went down so far! My honey goes in to check us in and when we went up the elevator, he was standing in front of the elevator buttons and I didn’t pay any attention to him or them. When the elevator opened, we were on the 14th floor A.K.A the Pent House floor. I quickly told him we were on the wrong floor and he must have forgotten to press our floor button and he said ‘no, this is right”. By now I am waiting for the security to swarm in and kick us out of the hotel because riff raff like us doesn’t belong on the pent house floor! I very cautiously stepped out of the elevator and followed him to our room 1421. Immediately, he goes to our balcony and swings the doors open and goes out, “come on out,” he says knowing full well that I don’t like heights. I stuck my head out but the view was absolutely breathtaking. We had a full view of the lake, Clear Lake, the docks, tennis courts and at the other end, we had NASA in view. Having the door open and hearing the water and the seagulls and laughter from the pool, I could LIVE like that! I only stepped out when he was not in the room because I really do look retarded!
Naturally we decided that seafood would be the majority of our dinner choices since we were going to the coast. Fish agrees very well with me and goes down quite well, but I don’t like a ‘fishy fish’, I like a mild flaky white fish with tarter sauce, of course. My honey prefers cocktail sauce for all his seafood, so he gets all the red and I get all the white. We ate at Casey Guidos on Saturday night and met with some family. Two aunts/uncles and a cousin and their families. We had both sides of JB’s family there, and it was a really nice evening. They capped it off with some Ben & Jerry’s. I believe that I may be having some lactose intolerance from my surgery so I avoid milk products at certain times. I have totally been avoiding milk all together and searching for an alternative. There is nothing worse than a romantic evening spoiled by complications from lactose intolerances.
After we had dinner we pondered what to do and many places came to mind, so while driving around I saw at tattoo parlor called “Painful Pleasures” and told my honey to ‘put his money where his mouth was’. He has been talking about getting an Air Force logo tattoo on his back right calf for 2 years, and what is the only way to shush a man when they want something? Get it! Well, he did and it is really nice but here is the story…..
He goes into the shop and speaks to Brandy. She specializes in blending tattoos and re-dos/cover-ups. (You know the people that fall in love one night and tat a name on their bodies and break up the next week?) Her blending techniques were quite impressive and she was an outstanding artist! She was about to go to lunch, and so we shopped other places for the 45 minutes she was gone. When we finished and returned, she drew up the tat for approval. I had planned to get my dragonfly touched up since it has faded so much. I was also thinking about getting a long stem rose on my foot with my boys name in my writing as the stem. The long stem rose was about my grandmother; when she was so sick with cancer, she asked me, ‘if I beat this cancer again, I want you to take me to get a rose tattoo on my ankle’. She had always wanted one and never did because ‘what would people think?’ I got neither that night because of the time it took Brandy to get things prepared. It is nice to have a perfectionist tattoo artist though since it will permanently be on your body. She had to redraw once because she didn’t like the placement the first time. Once she started, it was funny (to only me, Brandy, Joanna & Zach who were communicating by text) because as soon as that needle hit his skin, his eyes got so big and he took a deep breath, clenched his fists and his adrenaline kicked in. He did not like it at all. I guess my definition of the ‘pain’ wasn’t, as he would describe it. It was annoying to me, like a child poking your arm over and over and over; “mom, mom, mom, mom?” The next time I looked at my honey he had sweat beading on his forehead, and he DID NOT like me smiling/chuckling at him. He was angry; at me, at her, just at the pain. And understand that his tat was 4 inches wide and 5 inches tall and was to be completely colored in with black, blue and white! Once Brandy finished the outline, JB told her SHE needed a break and to go smoke a cigarette! HAHA! WHO needs the break? It was finished shortly after she returned from her break. After it was completed and pictures were taken, Brandy told him that next time she would use the numbing gel, and IF LOOKS COULD HAVE KILLED, poor Brandy would be history. He says, “we could have used numbing gel, and YOU didn’t?” She said you have to experience your first, as she and I quietly chuckled! He says this was his first and last, numbing gel or no numbing gel! The inside of the calf at the top was the most tender for him. By that time, it was 2 in the morning and we were both exhausted. I have enjoyed teasing him though; he (as most fun men) is an easy target. Wonder if that is why God made the women birth the children, could you imagine? We would all only have one child if men had to have the babies and if he had talked to another man that had already birthed one, you would remain childless! Women seem to play down their pain, because it is life and we have WAY too much to do, while men, accentuate their pain for the ‘big fish’ stories and the sympathy.
The reason we headed to Houston this weekend was because my sweet youth minister, Mickey, from my time at Mesquite Church of Christ had lost his wife and I needed to be there for him. Only 3 from my youth group were there. He meant so much to me in so many ways and was an incredible influence over many of my choices, as was his sweet wife, Liz. I didn’t realize the ranges of emotions that I would feel to see him again. Overjoyed and saddened at the event that brought us back together. I didn’t expect his reaction. My honey went to introduce himself to Mickey although they had met some 27 years ago, and Mickey never let me live it down. Mickey witnessed the first kiss between JB and I (and my first kiss ever) and teased me all the time. He asked me that night if JB was trying to eat my head?? Mickey was so fun and so funny! We used to sing, “Oh, Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine, you blow my mind… to him all the time and he would do a silly dance of some sort. He was crazy and very predictable. Easy to talk to and easy to be around. You never questioned Mickey’s moods or his feelings toward you. He had the BEST big bear hugs and knew that everyone needed them and they were always available. I have so missed that in this current world of questioning appropriateness of hugs. Mickey never questioned and I never have. Hugs are a simple expression of love for another. Simple love, not sexual love. Liz was so amazing as well. Every devotional was at their church owned home, and every Tuesday we had “Hour of Power” which was our weekly bible study/devotional time. It never was an hour and we loved hanging in the kitchen while talking to Liz. They had 1 small child, Shane at the time and he was a ring-tailed tooter. We often waited for Liz to put Shane to bed so we could have her undivided attention and visit. She was always the gracious host. The church had built an addition onto the back of the youth minister home and that was where everything happened. We always had a ‘home’ for devos and activities. We always went in around the back to allow the front entrance to be used as their personal entrance. But Mickey was always at the door to the youth room with a big “HELLO” and a hug if you desired. I have so many wonderful memories and I relied a lot on Mickey and his advice for many of my decisions and choices. I looked up to him. Without having a father in my life, I needed someone who was living like I wanted to live. Mickey was no way old enough to be my father-figure as he was only 15 years my senior, but I absorbed his words and advice and followed them as best I could. Up until a few years ago, I never met anyone that I looked up to like Mickey. I do have another I look up to now and his guidance has been instrumental in so much of my healing. He will never know how much I appreciate him.
The memorial service was beautiful and I only wish I could be half of the wife, mother, friend, and servant that Liz was. She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) 16 years ago. She had gone from an independent servant, to a walker bound servant, to finally a wheelchair bound servant. Her MS never slowed her and she never complained about her disease or the pain. She found me about 2 years ago on Facebook and we have had so many wonderful conversations about everything. Mickey says he cannot do Facebook, but I still encouraged him to get on there and play, to keep up with all of us, if he wants to. Mickey and I have already agreed to try to link up in July to see each other again. Liz went on disability and went off disability because she couldn’t stand not working and went back on later. She had a degree in home economics but worked in accounting/payroll most of her life.
With all that said, our weekend was fun, needed and will remind me often of how blessed I am. From the people that have been in my life and the people that are in my life.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Who is allowed freedom of speech and expression? Christians...
I was listening to the lesson from Ladies Bible Class last week, and many, many things caught my attention and got the little mice running in my head. One of the points that RD made was that if a kid put the Ten Commandments on their locker, it would be taken down as inappropriate while the half nude poster on the neighboring locker would be left. WHY? They have the right to be expressive?
What have we come to? While pulling into park at Wal-Mart tonight, my 14 year old son is watching the car pull out of the spot while we wait to pull in. He, like most people read the bumper stickers. One which reads, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." He turns to me and says "Mom, does that mean what I think it means?" I told him that, yes it means what he thinks. His response was, that is gross and inappropriate! Why is a 14 year old smarter than general America?
Everyone has their rights of speech and expression, except Christians. They have taken our rights away, but anyone can come into our country and have more rights than us. They can earn part of our paychecks while they sit on their back sides and get the assistance that most of us would be denied because we don't enter dishonest and incorrect information. We allow cheating and cannot 'accuse' someone of wrongdoing. How dare we.
I love this country and that my husband and now my son is serving in the AirForce. My husband is planning to return to the AirForce and finish out his retirement, but who are they serving for? Americans or others? Christians or others?
Homosexuals fight for their rights, parents that abuse and humiliate their children fight for their rights, atheists fight for their rights to not be offended by my Christianity. AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR MY SAVIOR AND I WILL FIGHT FOR THAT RIGHT. Don't tell me that Jesus and prayer is inappropriate. It is time that America take back the America that our founding fathers began, on the Christian principals and that God is to be feared. I only wish we would. We have allowed too much stupidity to penetrate the core of America.
Why do we allow this trash? Why do we have to see pornography on the windows and bumpers of cars. My 14 year old has questioned VERY inappropriate pictures on bumper stickers. I tell his that the people in the vehicle are just trash and he understands, it is not up for discussion. But it is nauseating and frustrating.
Some day I will answer for what I did to make things better and to speak of Christ. My passion is children and I want children's precious eyes protected from the trash in America. I want children to keep their innocence as long as we did way back in the "old days." We have to get the trash out of our homes, and hearts and stop allowing the status quo. Christians have a voice and we need to use it when it matters most.
What have we come to? While pulling into park at Wal-Mart tonight, my 14 year old son is watching the car pull out of the spot while we wait to pull in. He, like most people read the bumper stickers. One which reads, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." He turns to me and says "Mom, does that mean what I think it means?" I told him that, yes it means what he thinks. His response was, that is gross and inappropriate! Why is a 14 year old smarter than general America?
Everyone has their rights of speech and expression, except Christians. They have taken our rights away, but anyone can come into our country and have more rights than us. They can earn part of our paychecks while they sit on their back sides and get the assistance that most of us would be denied because we don't enter dishonest and incorrect information. We allow cheating and cannot 'accuse' someone of wrongdoing. How dare we.
I love this country and that my husband and now my son is serving in the AirForce. My husband is planning to return to the AirForce and finish out his retirement, but who are they serving for? Americans or others? Christians or others?
Homosexuals fight for their rights, parents that abuse and humiliate their children fight for their rights, atheists fight for their rights to not be offended by my Christianity. AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR MY SAVIOR AND I WILL FIGHT FOR THAT RIGHT. Don't tell me that Jesus and prayer is inappropriate. It is time that America take back the America that our founding fathers began, on the Christian principals and that God is to be feared. I only wish we would. We have allowed too much stupidity to penetrate the core of America.
Why do we allow this trash? Why do we have to see pornography on the windows and bumpers of cars. My 14 year old has questioned VERY inappropriate pictures on bumper stickers. I tell his that the people in the vehicle are just trash and he understands, it is not up for discussion. But it is nauseating and frustrating.
Some day I will answer for what I did to make things better and to speak of Christ. My passion is children and I want children's precious eyes protected from the trash in America. I want children to keep their innocence as long as we did way back in the "old days." We have to get the trash out of our homes, and hearts and stop allowing the status quo. Christians have a voice and we need to use it when it matters most.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Well, hey there stranger....or strange person?
That is what my blog spot told me when I logged on..."Well, hey there stranger....or strange person?"
Time to add to my blog, what has gone on in my life. Do you get very depressed when you are ill or just feeling poorly? I do! If I am not feeling well, my mental stays on the same plain as my physical. I don't like it but it is me. I hate feeling bad and since my gastric bypass, I have felt bad, most recently the last 4 weeks.
I assumed I was feeling bad and not able to eat or drink without pain, and it was a condition of the surgery. It was just how it was gonna be. Well, I was wrong. It is very much NOT normal to have pain while eating and drinking 4-8 weeks after surgery. The first 3 weeks were good but limited in eating. I was very frustrated and often double over in pain, would have chills go up my spine and have times of nausea and vomiting. Was not fun, so I just stopped eating and drinking. Not such a good choice.
When I did go in the doctors were very alarmed. They thought I had a leak, a blockage or an incision ulcer. They ordered a CAT scan with oral contrast (and the nastiest tasting clear liquid ever to pass my lips, but the upside was that a 'normal' person would have 2 full cups of that to drink but since I was a sleeve/bypass patient, I only drank 4 tablespoons, 2 tablespoons every 30 minutes) and IV contrast. Now the IV contrast was a trip! The nurse told me that I might get hot and feel like I wet my pants. SERIOUSLY! She was so right! I didn't get hot but felt like I wet my pants, although they were dry when I got out of the machine. HAHA! Wild stuff there! The CAT was to check for leaks outside the digestive system. Finished that one around 4 pm and had another Endoscopy scheduled the next morning at 7 am so we decided to spend the night in Dallas.
Luckily, my honey was able to make a phone call and Brayden was picked up from school and cared for by someone that we both think the world of. Brayden had a BLAST! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this person because he has been there and had very wise words to share and I have absorbed each and every one. I love that Brayden thinks he is a pretty fun and crazy 'young' fellow. (I get in trouble if I call him old). I know Brayden is 'old enough' to stay by himself but he is not a loner person especially at night. This was an inconvenience for everyone and I didn't want him alone.
Now as for our night in Dallas. We stayed at the Embassy Suites Galleria. Beautiful hotel and they have live swans swimming in their lobby pond. And fresh fruit infused water; orange and strawberry/blueberry. And you might go, 'what is so special about that?', considering how dehydrated I was, a tad flavored water tastes like a specialty drink. It was as beautiful in it's glass cauldron as it was tasty. (Although a blueberry got in the output and made the process a slow one!) Our room was exactly set up like the room we spent our wedding night in before flying away to the Last Frontier...Alaska! The only difference was the bathroom. I remember the bathroom very well because I had so much birdseed in my dress from my honey's uncles grabbing and dumping it down my dress. Once the dress was off, I looked like I had the measles, tons of birdseed indentions! Not that I believe anyone cared that night. The room was comfy and beautiful and very private and it made for a nice conclusion to a stinky test filled day!
Now for dinner, I couldn't eat anything, still and because of the EGD in the morning, only water, so we went to Pappadeaux Seafood. I know I love Pappadeaux gator tail and shrimp on a bed of asparagus with dirty rice but, I figured if I can't eat anything, he might as well be happy, right? So he gets the Craw fish Platter, with craw fish ettoufee and fried craw fish with dirty rice. He was one happy boy! Then he (we) finished off dinner with banana pudding, I know but I needed a taste! It was heavenly! My life was complete, a taste in my mouth other than stale spit and water. I was obsessed with brushing my teeth when I wasn't eating because it made me feel good, or my mouth at least. If your breath is fresh and clean, you can accomplish anything, right? Well, yeah, sorta!
Speaking of clean teeth, when we left Pappadeaux, we stopped at CVS for some toothbrushes and tooth paste. I figured I could wash items of clothing that needed washing in the sink. The plan was to shop after dinner but I just wanted to relax some. Very rarely do I get a 'nobody needs mom/Stacy to be doing things and running things' break. Phone was quiet and it was just me and my honey. A short trip turned into a longer than expected trip, for some lady decided to run in CVS to get a prescription for her baby, and leave the baby in the car with the doors unlocked. Now, what does not make sense to me is that this CVS had a drive thru! REALLY! Baby could have slept while mom DROVE THRU! She got nothing other than a prescription. But she chooses to leave baby boy in the car seat strapped in and leave the doors unlocked, go all the way to the back of the store and not even be able to hear the lady at the front of the store yelling "Who left their baby in their car outside?!?!" I think everyone in the store heard the call but her. When she finally emerged from the store, smug and thinking she was 'cute', the police were already in route, 3 of them! Yes, must've been a quiet night. She tried to get in her car and back out, but my honey stood behind her car. (I am thinking, great, there goes our nice, quiet, time together night. Spend money on this hotel and now we will get to pay for an emergency room visit!) She spoke limited English and a younger man was translating for her, but my honey told her that if she backed in to him, he would guarantee she would see the wrong side of the bars, and she put the car in park and turned it off. She really thought we were all crazy. The first lady to call 911 was an African American lady and she had her sick sleepy baby on her hip in his jammies and she was giving her the once over. YOU NEVER LEAVE YOUR BABY IN A CAR! Her little guy was beautiful also and just hung on. I was always so aware of my surroundings but I wouldn't even use a gas station without a pay at the pump with my kids in the car if I was alone. I did pay more but when they were asleep, I thought it worth it to not get them out to go in to pay. I got out to pump the gas, locked my car, paid and pumped, unlocked and got back in. Mind you, I also had day care children. Long story short, she was arrested and beautiful baby boy was taken by CPS. Made me sad for baby and mom, but glad he was not injured or kidnapped.
The rest of the night went on as intended and we both slept OK considering we didn't have our cpap machines. No night is a good night without them.
In the morning I had my EGD and it lasted a lot longer than anticipated and I just took that day off. I don't like asking my back up to work just a couple hours, as I think it is a waste of time.After I awoke from the EGD, the doctor ordered blood work and 2 liters of fluid, because I was so severely dehydrated that he was afraid my potassium and sodium were dangerously low, but they had a lot of trouble getting blood because of the dehydration. I have numerous nasty bruises from too many attempts. I wanted my mommy to come draw my blood or my bubs! The verdict was that my esophagus was extremely raw and causing all my pain and discomfort. I was started on Nexium, a pro-biotic, and Carafate a liquid that I was terrified would gag me and thus make my esophagus more raw. Once the EGD was done we headed back to Greenville. It was nice to see Brayden and hear about all his wonderful time the night before.
Some of the adventure was not needed but the rest was totally needed. I had my pain diagnosed and got to spend some quiet time with my honey. What more could you ask for? Yeah, I know, another day!!!!
Time to add to my blog, what has gone on in my life. Do you get very depressed when you are ill or just feeling poorly? I do! If I am not feeling well, my mental stays on the same plain as my physical. I don't like it but it is me. I hate feeling bad and since my gastric bypass, I have felt bad, most recently the last 4 weeks.
I assumed I was feeling bad and not able to eat or drink without pain, and it was a condition of the surgery. It was just how it was gonna be. Well, I was wrong. It is very much NOT normal to have pain while eating and drinking 4-8 weeks after surgery. The first 3 weeks were good but limited in eating. I was very frustrated and often double over in pain, would have chills go up my spine and have times of nausea and vomiting. Was not fun, so I just stopped eating and drinking. Not such a good choice.
When I did go in the doctors were very alarmed. They thought I had a leak, a blockage or an incision ulcer. They ordered a CAT scan with oral contrast (and the nastiest tasting clear liquid ever to pass my lips, but the upside was that a 'normal' person would have 2 full cups of that to drink but since I was a sleeve/bypass patient, I only drank 4 tablespoons, 2 tablespoons every 30 minutes) and IV contrast. Now the IV contrast was a trip! The nurse told me that I might get hot and feel like I wet my pants. SERIOUSLY! She was so right! I didn't get hot but felt like I wet my pants, although they were dry when I got out of the machine. HAHA! Wild stuff there! The CAT was to check for leaks outside the digestive system. Finished that one around 4 pm and had another Endoscopy scheduled the next morning at 7 am so we decided to spend the night in Dallas.
Luckily, my honey was able to make a phone call and Brayden was picked up from school and cared for by someone that we both think the world of. Brayden had a BLAST! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this person because he has been there and had very wise words to share and I have absorbed each and every one. I love that Brayden thinks he is a pretty fun and crazy 'young' fellow. (I get in trouble if I call him old). I know Brayden is 'old enough' to stay by himself but he is not a loner person especially at night. This was an inconvenience for everyone and I didn't want him alone.
Now as for our night in Dallas. We stayed at the Embassy Suites Galleria. Beautiful hotel and they have live swans swimming in their lobby pond. And fresh fruit infused water; orange and strawberry/blueberry. And you might go, 'what is so special about that?', considering how dehydrated I was, a tad flavored water tastes like a specialty drink. It was as beautiful in it's glass cauldron as it was tasty. (Although a blueberry got in the output and made the process a slow one!) Our room was exactly set up like the room we spent our wedding night in before flying away to the Last Frontier...Alaska! The only difference was the bathroom. I remember the bathroom very well because I had so much birdseed in my dress from my honey's uncles grabbing and dumping it down my dress. Once the dress was off, I looked like I had the measles, tons of birdseed indentions! Not that I believe anyone cared that night. The room was comfy and beautiful and very private and it made for a nice conclusion to a stinky test filled day!
Now for dinner, I couldn't eat anything, still and because of the EGD in the morning, only water, so we went to Pappadeaux Seafood. I know I love Pappadeaux gator tail and shrimp on a bed of asparagus with dirty rice but, I figured if I can't eat anything, he might as well be happy, right? So he gets the Craw fish Platter, with craw fish ettoufee and fried craw fish with dirty rice. He was one happy boy! Then he (we) finished off dinner with banana pudding, I know but I needed a taste! It was heavenly! My life was complete, a taste in my mouth other than stale spit and water. I was obsessed with brushing my teeth when I wasn't eating because it made me feel good, or my mouth at least. If your breath is fresh and clean, you can accomplish anything, right? Well, yeah, sorta!
Speaking of clean teeth, when we left Pappadeaux, we stopped at CVS for some toothbrushes and tooth paste. I figured I could wash items of clothing that needed washing in the sink. The plan was to shop after dinner but I just wanted to relax some. Very rarely do I get a 'nobody needs mom/Stacy to be doing things and running things' break. Phone was quiet and it was just me and my honey. A short trip turned into a longer than expected trip, for some lady decided to run in CVS to get a prescription for her baby, and leave the baby in the car with the doors unlocked. Now, what does not make sense to me is that this CVS had a drive thru! REALLY! Baby could have slept while mom DROVE THRU! She got nothing other than a prescription. But she chooses to leave baby boy in the car seat strapped in and leave the doors unlocked, go all the way to the back of the store and not even be able to hear the lady at the front of the store yelling "Who left their baby in their car outside?!?!" I think everyone in the store heard the call but her. When she finally emerged from the store, smug and thinking she was 'cute', the police were already in route, 3 of them! Yes, must've been a quiet night. She tried to get in her car and back out, but my honey stood behind her car. (I am thinking, great, there goes our nice, quiet, time together night. Spend money on this hotel and now we will get to pay for an emergency room visit!) She spoke limited English and a younger man was translating for her, but my honey told her that if she backed in to him, he would guarantee she would see the wrong side of the bars, and she put the car in park and turned it off. She really thought we were all crazy. The first lady to call 911 was an African American lady and she had her sick sleepy baby on her hip in his jammies and she was giving her the once over. YOU NEVER LEAVE YOUR BABY IN A CAR! Her little guy was beautiful also and just hung on. I was always so aware of my surroundings but I wouldn't even use a gas station without a pay at the pump with my kids in the car if I was alone. I did pay more but when they were asleep, I thought it worth it to not get them out to go in to pay. I got out to pump the gas, locked my car, paid and pumped, unlocked and got back in. Mind you, I also had day care children. Long story short, she was arrested and beautiful baby boy was taken by CPS. Made me sad for baby and mom, but glad he was not injured or kidnapped.
The rest of the night went on as intended and we both slept OK considering we didn't have our cpap machines. No night is a good night without them.
In the morning I had my EGD and it lasted a lot longer than anticipated and I just took that day off. I don't like asking my back up to work just a couple hours, as I think it is a waste of time.After I awoke from the EGD, the doctor ordered blood work and 2 liters of fluid, because I was so severely dehydrated that he was afraid my potassium and sodium were dangerously low, but they had a lot of trouble getting blood because of the dehydration. I have numerous nasty bruises from too many attempts. I wanted my mommy to come draw my blood or my bubs! The verdict was that my esophagus was extremely raw and causing all my pain and discomfort. I was started on Nexium, a pro-biotic, and Carafate a liquid that I was terrified would gag me and thus make my esophagus more raw. Once the EGD was done we headed back to Greenville. It was nice to see Brayden and hear about all his wonderful time the night before.
Some of the adventure was not needed but the rest was totally needed. I had my pain diagnosed and got to spend some quiet time with my honey. What more could you ask for? Yeah, I know, another day!!!!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Just a few things to talk about...
My heart has been heavy today. I miss my Princess. I don't know the significance of this day but I have just truly missed her. She will have her first birthday soon, in about 3 weeks and I know she is just doing wonderful! But my heart misses her. Her nursery is empty, and everything is gone. The carpets are cleaned in that room and the walls are getting freshly painted. As of tomorrow, that room will become Brayden's. He has requested it because it was Zach's and it was the Princess'. I guess I just wish I would have done things different, and I wish the CPS system was not what it is. I was always there for the system, even taking 3 children while working full time and taking care of my family. When they called I was there for them, but it doesn't matter. Circumstances of my life that I had no control over many years ago will take presidence and some caseworkers hold major grudges. My honey said we (he) was done playing the CPS games. There is no way to win. And we closed our home. The hurtful thing was she didn't even care enough to call about our decision, like everything we did didn't matter. That is the CPS thanks you get. Good foster parents just don't want their heart hung out to dry. I could never love enough, be enough and do enough according to CPS. I am angry about a lot of things and how things were handled. I am angry that children that need us will never get the opportunity and I am angry that I will never have a daughter to call my own. But I know God knows best and I know He has a plan for my heart.
I will never close off my heart because of being hurt. I may guard it, but every breath we take is a chance and every love we give is equally a chance. I am saddened when I meet people that have built the walls around their hearts and they can walk the walk but they can't talk the talk. Meaning they can pretend to care about others, but to not really care. Some could win an emmy award for the acting. There will come a day that hurt and betrayal will fit on the back burner and loving will become a better option. Don't know that I will live to see the day, but I pray that is more important.
I don't know how to remind people what it is to love deeply, we are not talking lust or infatuation but to Love One Another. It seems like a dying art of an antique gift. Too many times our job or profession gets in the way of our Christian principals. Why do we allow that? Why can't we stand up and say 'right is right'? Why do Christians hurt other Christians? Why must some try to turn something beautiful and pure into something ugly and wrong. I am learning so much about the makeup of some people. About how some are ready to destroy others at any cost. But is your soul worth the cost of the pain you are causing another? I do get angry,but I get angry at injustices, especially when good people are intentionally hurt and betrayed. I have been on the receiving end of that betrayal and it hurt and could have destroyed me, but I wasn't going to let that person win. I pray I am never at the point that I would compromise my morals and beliefs to sit idly by and let someone be treated wrongly. I pray I have the strength to stand up for what is right. I prayed someone would stand up for me, but no one did. They were too afraid.
I will never close off my heart because of being hurt. I may guard it, but every breath we take is a chance and every love we give is equally a chance. I am saddened when I meet people that have built the walls around their hearts and they can walk the walk but they can't talk the talk. Meaning they can pretend to care about others, but to not really care. Some could win an emmy award for the acting. There will come a day that hurt and betrayal will fit on the back burner and loving will become a better option. Don't know that I will live to see the day, but I pray that is more important.
I don't know how to remind people what it is to love deeply, we are not talking lust or infatuation but to Love One Another. It seems like a dying art of an antique gift. Too many times our job or profession gets in the way of our Christian principals. Why do we allow that? Why can't we stand up and say 'right is right'? Why do Christians hurt other Christians? Why must some try to turn something beautiful and pure into something ugly and wrong. I am learning so much about the makeup of some people. About how some are ready to destroy others at any cost. But is your soul worth the cost of the pain you are causing another? I do get angry,but I get angry at injustices, especially when good people are intentionally hurt and betrayed. I have been on the receiving end of that betrayal and it hurt and could have destroyed me, but I wasn't going to let that person win. I pray I am never at the point that I would compromise my morals and beliefs to sit idly by and let someone be treated wrongly. I pray I have the strength to stand up for what is right. I prayed someone would stand up for me, but no one did. They were too afraid.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day rocks no matter what the nay-sayers say!
I just like Valentine's Day, always have. Loved it as a child and writing to all my classmates, loved it as a teenager, wife and mother, and with my day care kids. We had a party on Valentines day and we had so much fun! My honey has never been one to do too much and that was OK. Mother's Day is the day I expect him to do something, after all, next to being a Christian and wife, being a mother is the most important thing I will ever do!
This year I woke to a dozen beautiful red roses from my honey and a "be mine" teddy bear with a pink rose from my sweet Brayden. Apparently, they shopped after devotional Sunday night and Brayden was disappointed that I was asleep when he got home with his surprise. Normally I am not, but I was freezing and sick to my stomach last night. SO after ridding my stomach of the dinner contents, I took my little trash can and went and climbed under the pile of blankets placed on my bed. I did feel better this morning but still was very cautious, only having water and minimal crackers to hush my tummy up.
Valentine'e Day consisted of work and MNftM (Monday Night for the Master) where we write cards and make visits and have dinner together. It is always wonderful fellowship. My honey had to work as always 3-11pm but at least I was with my Christian family.
Saturday was the day set aside for us. We left out early in the morning for Dallas, since my honey was having an endoscopy. That took much longer than anticipated but the waiting was awesome. I always like to talk to people waiting, since most of them are all there for the same thing...preparation for weight loss surgery. I started talking to a lady who was there with her husband and granddaughters and we continued to talk for the next 2 1/2 hours about everything. Come to find out she was a member of the church at Lamar Avenue in Paris, and she had a grandson that was a resident at Boles Children's Home. How strange is that? In huge Dallas, meeting with one doctor, 2 people meet with so much in common. I really enjoyed the time until she had to go back for her procedure. My honey was ready about the time that she was called back so I went to get him to leave. He did very well with the procedure and wanted to get something to eat.
From the hospital, we went to Long John Silvers. Not my favorite place but one of his and he needs to eat at his favorite places before his surgery. I ate 1/8 piece of fish and a hushpuppy but not before putting it in a napkin and squeezing the grease out gently. Many, many napkins were used. From there we went to WalMart for minor things and then we found a park. We were suppose to meet with JimBob's brother, his wife and daughter and parents for Terry and Railey's birthday later and just wanted some veg time. We found a park and it was beautiful. The weather was beautiful and we just laid out in the park and talked. It was so relaxing and so needed and it was incredible. Very rarely do you get such a beautiful, nice and perfect day to just lay out and talk.
We both have so many things we want to do and so many things to try. Being overweight makes life hard and makes you miss out on the things you wish to do. I grew tired of sitting on the sidelines of life and wanted to be a part of the action. I want to (this is kind of my bucket list)...
This year I woke to a dozen beautiful red roses from my honey and a "be mine" teddy bear with a pink rose from my sweet Brayden. Apparently, they shopped after devotional Sunday night and Brayden was disappointed that I was asleep when he got home with his surprise. Normally I am not, but I was freezing and sick to my stomach last night. SO after ridding my stomach of the dinner contents, I took my little trash can and went and climbed under the pile of blankets placed on my bed. I did feel better this morning but still was very cautious, only having water and minimal crackers to hush my tummy up.
Valentine'e Day consisted of work and MNftM (Monday Night for the Master) where we write cards and make visits and have dinner together. It is always wonderful fellowship. My honey had to work as always 3-11pm but at least I was with my Christian family.
Saturday was the day set aside for us. We left out early in the morning for Dallas, since my honey was having an endoscopy. That took much longer than anticipated but the waiting was awesome. I always like to talk to people waiting, since most of them are all there for the same thing...preparation for weight loss surgery. I started talking to a lady who was there with her husband and granddaughters and we continued to talk for the next 2 1/2 hours about everything. Come to find out she was a member of the church at Lamar Avenue in Paris, and she had a grandson that was a resident at Boles Children's Home. How strange is that? In huge Dallas, meeting with one doctor, 2 people meet with so much in common. I really enjoyed the time until she had to go back for her procedure. My honey was ready about the time that she was called back so I went to get him to leave. He did very well with the procedure and wanted to get something to eat.
From the hospital, we went to Long John Silvers. Not my favorite place but one of his and he needs to eat at his favorite places before his surgery. I ate 1/8 piece of fish and a hushpuppy but not before putting it in a napkin and squeezing the grease out gently. Many, many napkins were used. From there we went to WalMart for minor things and then we found a park. We were suppose to meet with JimBob's brother, his wife and daughter and parents for Terry and Railey's birthday later and just wanted some veg time. We found a park and it was beautiful. The weather was beautiful and we just laid out in the park and talked. It was so relaxing and so needed and it was incredible. Very rarely do you get such a beautiful, nice and perfect day to just lay out and talk.
We both have so many things we want to do and so many things to try. Being overweight makes life hard and makes you miss out on the things you wish to do. I grew tired of sitting on the sidelines of life and wanted to be a part of the action. I want to (this is kind of my bucket list)...
- Parasail
- Snow ski with my boys in Utah next December.
- Go horseback ridding more often (that is peaceful freedom)
- Spend a week each year of vacation on missions
- Spend more time with more people that need someone.
- Volunteer at a clinic that speaks to girls about NOT aborting their babies.
- Volunteer at a rape crisis center.
- Be more involved with children, maybe with CASA.
- Strengthen my physical body.
- Strengthen my spiritual body.
- Strengthen my emotional mind.
- Ride my bicycle to work more often (or begin). Not a motorcycle either!
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