Albeit for me to know what to do.After talking with my doctor after he reviewed my labs, he has order for me to have a PICC line put in and TPN to be administered through the pick line. He told me it was 12 hours a day, I would stay hooked up. Said my potassium and protein were low. I went in Thursday morning and had the PICC line inserted. No big deal, not painful but not comfortable either.On Friday I started the TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) Well, when I read about it, I cried. I have been feeling like I am eating all the time and now this. My complications have been very rare times 3. Very rare that the esophagus gets so raw like mine did. Very rare that someone has major mal-absorption problems and very rare that they need to use TPN. I even have my own home health nurse named, Penny, but doesn't that make me feel worse. Penny was surprised that I was not in bed with my lab readings. Exhausted am I? Yes, but to the point of laying around idle? NO! Penny is having a whole new realm of her job. I am her first ever working patient, not by my doctor's or Penny's approval. They think I need rest and I agree but not that kind of rest. I would be so depressed being stuck at home and in bed or in the hospital. I can do this...I think and hope.
Many things are not as we talked about. Like, this is not for 12 hours but 24 hours and I have to infuse the TPN with 2 syringes of vitamins before hooking it up. I also found out today that I have antibiotics in my bag, and I don't know why I have antibiotics. Penny came to work, her first time, and changed my bandage and cleaned it. My PICC line bled the first day and it was all under the clear bandage and pretty nasty. She also has to draw blood on Mondays and Thursday to see how my levels are coming along. I am doing what is best for me. Doctor T said he could "fix" me in a few weeks instead of a few months this way. I trust Dr. T, so I am abiding with his expertise. I just dislike feeling like this, attached to lines and carrying around a bag of my 'groceries'. I wanted to avoid the questions, I have heard comments like "she must have cancer" or "what's wrong with her?" Well, there is a lot wrong with me...but nothing is 'wrong', I am trying to fix all this and praying I don't have a major absorption problem forever.
MY fear is having to reverse the surgery. My fear is founded although because my maternal grandmother was one of the first gastric bypass patients ever and had to have it reversed. We are talking back in 1969-1970. She developed rheumatoid arthritis from the mal-absorption and was in a lot of pain. A doctor at Baylor reversed the surgery and she fully recovered but once again battled her weight for years. She lost a ton of weight doing the Medifast weight loss program in 1988-1989, and was very thin. Cancer eventually took her life in 2001. She would have been my biggest supporter for this surgery.
I am trying to not interrupt my life, my families life and others by my lack of energy and strength. I am praying I will see an increase soon in strength and endurance. I am praying for the successful turn of events I gambled on with this surgery. Frustration, yes....but nothing I cannot handle, just sometimes I need a good cry and had one this morning.
2 comments:
I'm praying for you, Stacy. I am quite sure this has been a tough journey but you are a strong person and I know your determination. I do hope things settle down for you and you will soon be able to jump up and down and say it was all worth it and successful. Love ya, girl. Joyce
Stacy, you know I love you like my own sister. I want only the best for you. I am praying that you will come out of this soon and be stronger and healthier than ever, but you know you have to let your body rest to be able to heal. I know how hard that is for you. You have always put everyone ahead of yourself but this is one time you must think about yourself in order to think of/help others. The best thing you can do for all of us is please take good care of you!!! Love ya kiddo! Lesa :o)
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