I feel like I have finally moved past the worst of this depression but yet still find things depressing. I find that when you start doing something 'to be nice', that it then becomes your job and is expected which creates a bigger work load. This is why our workload has expanded so much, because I am willing and confident to help out, but it then becomes MY responsibility. In an attempt to stay busy, I have created a monster. This is not small one time favors but daily and weekly things that someone else doesn't want to do anymore. Well, things need to be done so I take it on.
Healing is what I am doing. I have started writing, and think I will dub the rambling as "I think my emotional baggage just got on the wrong train". My beginnings are about what little girls need from their daddy's. Not that I am the expert but I know what I wanted and what I saw others have from their daddy's. It saddens me that men think that they can walk away from their children and women play games with the fathers of their children. It is NOT a game! It is very destructive.
There are a couple older men in my life that if God gave me the choice, I would have picked them as my father. Their children are very blessed. But still my life is my life and I have what I have.
No comments:
Post a Comment